Forgive Me: A Spirit of Plagiarism

For this post, I just organized everyone’s comments from the previous thread. Here’s what I came up with – I’ve paraphrased at times, sometimes turned statements into questions and added a few questions of my own.

Toward Conceptualizing Forgiveness: Forgiveness is…

1. Not taking revenge; this involves a healing process.
2. A release of anger and resentment that can become a habit (Beth’s link).
3. Letting go with no expectations. (Letting go of what?)
4. “Giving completely” – as based on the word’s etymology. (Giving what completely?)
5. Recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and not judging others.
6. A way of expressing love.
7. It’s one way of not clinging or attaching to the egoistic self. Forgiveness can be viewed as part of the larger process of personal growth.
8. It’s for one’s own sake and not others. {I added this one since it usually comes up.}

Forgiveness-Distinctions

1. Forgiving vs. forgetting: we don’t forget in order not to get hurt again in the same way.
2. Forgiving self vs. forgiving others.

Forgiveness Variables

1. Whether the wrongdoer has apologized or changed their behavior for the better.
2. How severe is the harm inflicted? There’s a broad range – from, say, a stinging insult to being physically tortured.
3. What if the wrongdoing is ongoing instead of in the past? Can we, for example, remain in a relationship with someone whose behavior is harmful to us and keep forgiving them at the same time that we’re being harmed? What if we’re unable to leave the relationship? Think, for example, of the frail elderly and severely disabled who may literally be unable to escape situations of abuse or neglect.
4. Relationship of forgiveness to the idea of sin.

Anything to clarify? Add? Do you think any of these ideas are especially on target concerning what forgiveness is, how people manage to forgive and what can make forgiveness difficult?