Embracing the Unwelcome Other: Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Spammers

This is a time of year that finds charitable donations up, neighborliness on the rise, and connections with family and friends reestablished. Yet how many of us exclude spammers as a group from our holiday charity and good cheer, treating each and all of them as the Unwelcome Other?

Spammers come to us from around the world, struggling to attract our attention by way of improbable messages. They are people just like you and me except for spamming and other illicit activities.

In the spirit of the season, I’ve devoted this comments thread to several spam messages received on this blog over recent weeks that struck me as especially sincere.

Spammed Me but Not Included Here?

Dear Excluded Spammer,

I hated to do it! But if your spam was just URLs without enough words to make out a sentence or phrase, I did not include it in this thread. I knew you wouldn’t have wanted folks to think you were just trying to use a random blog to sell stuff!

Also, very frankly, many of your messages were repetitive and, well, pretty boring.

Next time you contact me may I suggest something like the following Sample Spam.

Sincerely yours,

Paul

Sample Spam

Dear Mr. Martin,

If you’ll check your last month’s sales figures, you’ll notice that you’ve sold 100 copies more of Original Faith than your monthly average.

I was so deeply moved by your book and life’s story that I laughed, I cried – I sang Maureen McGovern’s “There’s Got to Be a Morning After” in the shower.

Then I went out and bought copies of OF for friends, family, colleagues, and anyone I knew with cruise ship plans.

Sorry for any inconvenience due to the sudden upsurge in orders!

Sincerely,

Full Name Including Middle Initial

PS Regular Readers

Please feel free to leave a normal comment – or try your hand at spamming! It doesn't need to be exactly like my sample, which was only to give a general idea…

As Time Allows – My illness is progressive and bedridden time has risen; I’m no longer able to reply to most comments and emails. I do read everything I get and sometimes this gives me ideas for posts. So please keep them coming and I’ll reply as time allows.